Frank and Max Dance


Commentary version

Break Free Mac Ad


Break Free Mac Ad Bloopers


Sime's 18th Birthday Present

Viv's 21st Messages pt. 1


Viv's 21st Messages pt. 2


Zef and Steffy

ok so ages ago i did a workshop thing for 'expand your horizons' on drawing. i figured i mite show u guys what the process is when i draw a photo, using viv as my example lol

what you need:
paper
pencil (the black drawer for shading)
rubber (the white drawer for highlights)
a finger (for smudging and fading)

1. i trace the outline (yes, i know its cheating but it just saves me alot of rubbing and redoing lol)

2. colour the hair (this gives me a comparison of tone. hair = black, so everything else is compared to that black hair)

3. to do highlights for hair, shade the whole thing grey and then go over everything darker except for the highlight bits

4. eyes can be the hardest part because its usually how people recognise people's faces, so it can take some trial and error. remember to leave the light reflection in the eye white.

5. mouth is harder with teeth showing lol with teeth less is more. so don't draw the outline of the teeth too heavily or you'll end up with cartoon teeth. u just need to lightly sketch the bottom line of the teeth.

6. shading is just understanding what is protruding and retracting in the face. so the lip for example is coming out and u might have a highlight there, but it will also cause shading underneath it. other places where shading usually is is around the nose, smile creases, the inner part of the eye and around the face. where you might have highlights (using the rubber) is the forehead, line of the nose, cheeks and lips. tip: use your finger to smudge the shading

7. the fixing up stage is where u get nitty gritty and try to pick out what doesnt look right. this part takes a bit of practice and i still cant do it (fortunately i have my mum and dad to tell me if something looks weird lol they'll be honest)


Me: hey mum do u know who this is? *shows viv's picture*
Mum: ...... mmm.......... vivian?
Me: yeahhhhhhhhhh
Mum: doesn't look like her.
Me: aww *sigh*


anyways, there you have it guys! now everyone can draw a picture for someone :D

Comebacks 101

*a group of little white kids at day care*

Kid 1: ur cap is so lame. it's not even a gangsta hat.
Kid 2: i have a gangsta hat, i just didn't wear it today.
Kid 3: whatever, you're not even gangsta!
Kid 2: neither are you!!
Kid 3: hey! i am too gangsta!!!





*lunch on sunday*

*sime talking to matt about Pokemon gaming techniques*
wendy: sime, ur such a geek
sime: no. *pause for effect* i'm not.
me: wow, that comeback was amazing. where do you come up with this stuff?
sime: i know, it works on anything. 'sime, you're gay'... 'no. i am not'.





*at tennis*

*matt playing DS on the ground and tim and jacky were throwing tennis balls to each other but in his direction*
Me: *puts black bag in front of matt's head to protect him*
*ball hits bag*
ness: lol matt doesnt even know whats going on.. hes just like 'whats that black cloud in front of me?"
jacky: *puts on defensive voice* Yeah? well what about girls and shopping for shoes??
*silence*
me: what does that even mean?
jacky: you should know
*silence*
me: best. comeback. ever.

sime and carson in da club

Kev's Happy bday



Nathan and Carson



Umbrella - EMP boys



Save some watermelon for me and Sunday

Day Care pt. 249


Prep boy: *looks up at me* are u Patrick's mum?
Me: no, I'm not Patrick's mum.
Prep boy: well then who's mum are you?
Me: I'm nobody's mum.
Prep boy: why aren't you anybody's mum??
Me: I.. I. becuz... like.. WHY AREN'T YOU ANYBODY'S MUM??








Playing Red Rover or Bull Rush
Prep girl: *grumpy face* i dont want to play anymore! I never win! I want to win.
Me: okay, how bout I protect you when people try to tag you.
Prep girl: OKAY!
*One minute later*
Prep girl: Tag me! Tag me! I want to be it!!
Me: sigh... okay.






*standing outside boy's toilet*
Prep boy: I've never seen a girl's toilet before.
Me: Girl's use the sitting toilets.
Prep boy: What's that? Cuz boys use the the the different toilet.
Me: It's like the one you have at home. Girl's use normal toilets.
Prep boy: ooooooh I use my mum's toilet... and my dad's toilet.
Me: *where is this conversation going*






Boy 1: Why did you take so long in the toilet?
Boy 2: I had to do a poo.
Boy 1: ooooooooooh, I hate doing poos.
Boy 2: Me too.
Boy 1: Why can't we just wee.
Me: *where is this conversation going*

Poker face (Max version)

'We are cool' part 2

Now, here's the thing. Simey Lan was looking at my blog and felt sad that he doesn't have these awesome photos with us. and why shouldn't he be in these photos? I mean... he's family. Just like how the Fong's have a cut out sibling in their family photo, Simey should be in our oldskool youth photos.

EMP Youth
'We are cool'


Nathan




















Advisor Zef
















Doctor Ness



























Frank




















Miss Vivian





























Song Go




























Doctor Ting




























Kent Go















and this is just for funzies








Sam Lui

HHHOOOOOOOOTTT

Sorry guys! it's been a long time comin, but here it is. EMP boys Calendar 2009.



Spend a month with Mr. January and you'll be doing all kinds of sexy Asian poses - the i-have-something-on-my-neck pose.












Mr. February will keep you on your toes with his long strides on the field.













Mr. March will be thinking of you all day long with his manly sized head.













He's bringing sexy back with that flexed arm and pouty lips. Mr. April












Mr. May will just lie in the grass and watch the clouds float by with you as he charms you with his indo-aussie-london accent.














Mr. June is starting to feel the Autumn breeze. But never fear, he'll keep you warm at night with these flashy soccer socks.















No one can strike a pose better than his man. He'll have you hooked with his boyish charm and soft eyes. Mr. July.














These arms aren't just for show... ladies.. you could be that t-shirt Mr. August is hugging ;)












Mr. September... Mr. September.













Mr. October shows his sensitive side with man's best friend. And how can any woman resist the good old the-camera's-over-there-but-i'm-looking-away pose?












Who ever said the ladies have to do all the kitchen work? If you need your dishes clean, Mr. November will suds them up for you. He'll suds them good.














And for December, I give you the CMCA MYF Asian boyband. I know that's all I want for Christmas.

Day Care pt. 5

Kids have a funny way of showing their affection.

Boy 1: If i had a bazooka, I would blow everyone's head off, except yours.
Boy 2: Cuz I'm your friend :)
Boy 1: yeah :)




Some kids have real artistic flare.

Me: Okay! Let's decorate our name tags!
Girl: Put weapons on it!!
Me: Weapons? Why would I do a thing like that?
Girl: Because it makes it more interesting.. they can be little weapons... like hitting sticks or something.
Me: ... I still don't see why I would do that.




Modesty class 101 to a little blonde girl

Me: hey.. do you know that you have like.. the nicest hair ever
Girl: *smiles* yeah.. i do.
Me: ..... mmmmk.
Girl: *grins and skips off*





Kids playing Xbox

Kid 1: I need the cheat code for jumping!! Do you remember it?
Kid 2: Yeah AABXYY
Kid 1: Awesome, it worked. Okay if I remember correctly, the code for health boost is XXBAB-Hold the front button-XYBAXAB
Kid 2: Actually the second last letter is a Y
Kid 1: Right you are good fellow (not an exact quote)
Me: You know, if you kids put your minds to more useful things than xbox... you'd be ruling the world.

CNY skit


YAF Boy Band


Sharon's bday

Day Care pt 4

Watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the fact that i expected the original movie showed my age)
Movie: He's an idiot.
Kid: UMUMUMA! They said the 'E' word!






We got to go out for bowling as an excursion. what other jobs would u get paid to go bowling? that was when i discovered that kids have mixed feelings about me.

Girls: Francessssss, we wanted to be in ur team!!
Me: awwwwww.
2 minutes later
Girls: Francessssss, we drew pictures of u
Me: awwwww... wait... why do i have dumbo ears and a black eye?





I think it's safe to say that i can't use my nickname 'Frank' in day care.
Girl 1 - u know what would be really funny?
Girl 2 - what?
Girl 1 - if i called you Hamish!
Girl 2 - ...
Girl 1 - CUZ YOU'RE NOT A BOY! *points finger and laughs*
Girl 2 - ...
Me - yeah that would be really weird.. *shifty eyes*




these days kids are just waaaaaaay too consumed by electronic devices and video games. waaaaaayy too much.


Boy: let me tell ya somethin. Tv is my life. DS is my life.
Me: aw yeah
Boy: and Wii is my life. Not wee wee, but nintendo wii.
Me: no i got that.
Boy: yeah, i cant live without it. i dunno what i would do.
Me: how old are u again?
Boy: seven
Me: *ahh the meaning of life at seven*

ok so i told myself i would blog about amyc but i've been too lazy and too late, so i figured i'll just do a top-up on everyone else's.

memorable moments

Atan replacing Mortein by brutally killing cockroaches during the peaceful strolls at night

Waking up to KC talking in her sleep. i don't think i've ever heard someone speak so clearly in their sleep before. this was after the conference and talent night must have taken a toll on her.

KC: ... guys, I'll be narrator.



Kevin Fang waking up to find Atan sleeping in a crunch position
Atan: *What is the most straining position i can sleep in to have maximum physical exertion?*




Sime T was bending over really really low. Tim noticed that his posterior was being revealed as a result. I just happened to be holding a bottle of water in my hand. Now, I must explain that my intention was to follow orders. So Tim nudged me and pointed to Sime's uncovered rear end. At this point, I immediately assumed that Tim was telling me to pour the water bottle into Sime's butt clevage, and so, i did. The following events included me laughing my head off, Sime trying to chase me with his wet butt and trying to dry himself by pointing his rear end towards the sunlight.

for revenge Sime T sat on me and farted. but in my opinion... victory is still mine.




I think my thumb muscles have become alot more buff after giving comfort-massages.

dude from ayc: hi frances. my name's Richard. we haven't met but... could u give my angel a massage?




I've been waiting for this day. the day Sime L met his older brother that I met two years ago.






the brissie crew being noob on the trams.
Tram: If you would like to stop at the next station, please request now.
Noobs: ummm... *puts hand up* we request.





ok so you may have heard bout the incident where we went to a fancy restaurant in thongs, tshirts and boardshorts. i dont think i've ever been to a fancier place before. and i dont think ive ever felt so lower class in my life lol if only i wasnt lookin like a hobo in my 5buck thongs. anyways, i had to pee. so i went up to a waitress and asked in a very polite and lady-like manner where the bathroom was. she replied in a very polite and lady-like manner. and as i walked towards the toilet, i tripped over my 5 buck thongs and made a lady-like yelp. yeah... i dont belong in fancy places lol

as requested, Atan blowing his nose a little too hard




Sequel to 'sime being cute'




Brisbane girl's are crazy

Day Care part 3

These kids are freakin hilarious.

Cutest little girl: *hugs me by my waist*
Me: Hello!!
Cutest little girl: *starts hanging off waist*
Me: *tries to walk with child as a belt*
Cutest little girl: HUG ME!!
Me: *i'd like to keep my blue card* a hug? why do u need a hug?
Cutest little girl: beeeecauuuuse.. IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A HUG... I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM!!
Me: *...whaaaaat the. get off me*






Co-ordinator: Hey Frances, can you bake?
Frances: ahhhh with my friends *nervous laugh*
Co-ordinator: Great, do you wanna help the kids bake a birthday cake?
Frances: *uh oh..* Sure!

20mins later, two lumpy cakes

Birthday girls: We want green cakes!
Me: *eeeewww* Sure!

5mins later, two lumpy nuclear waste cakes




There's another girl that works at the care centre who's name is Frances. and get this, she's asian too.
Me: so how did your parents give you our name?
Frances: after Saint Frances
Me: ah yeah..
Frances: how bout you?
Me: they got it from a list of names and they were like "that's weird, i'll take it"






Something I learnt about kids is that they are very competitive. they will do anything if you make it competitive.

*boy lying in the middle of the floor*
Me: Buddy, you okay? you bored?
Boy: *nods*
Me: Let's play Connect-a-four (i owned this game in primary)
Boy: Connect-a-four is llaaaamee, no-body plays it
Me: *i'm so old* That's cuz you've never played with me before. I am the QUEEN OF CONNECT-A-FOUR!
Boy: No WAYYY!!! I'll beat you!!
*after a few games of me winning*
Other kids: I wanna verse him! *points to boy*
Boy: Nooo, you have the verse her, she's the QUEEN OF CONNECT-A-FOUR!
*uproar of connect-a-four begins*




i think the kids had one too many candy canes today. they all made cakes today. and got to eat them. *shudder*
Witnessing the special event of children running from the playground to the table where the cakes are placed is one of nature's most extraordinary sights; this is called the 'Stampede'. Luckily i was in safe shelter in the kitchen, i was only able to hear the screams and thundering sound of 30 pairs of shoes drumming the concrete. Fortunately there were no casualties... yet.

Without Complaining (and making of)





see... we meant to stuff up, it was even practiced