sackcloth Vs bikini

modesty. now there's a word u don't hear very often these days.
integrity. there's another one.
self-value. dun think that's even a word.. but it is for now.

so i just finished a book called 'Do you think I'm beautiful?' and i've been thinking... what are my own standards when it comes to how i present myself? i mean, i don't exactly want to walk around in a sack-cloth with hair that has never known the purpose of a brush. but i definately don't want to skip around in a skirt that could be used as a belt and enough mascara to pave a car park.

most girls wanna be noticed, adored and loved. but how do they go about it? sure, i could wear more expensive clothes that are skimpier. but let me explain a little something bout myself.

1. i'm asian. therefore i will pay for my money's worth. to pay more for less material is just not logical to me.

2. i don't want to be slutty. now u can wear skimpy clothes and not be 'slutty' but i guess i prefer not to get myself in the situation where i'll be tempted to sell myself short.

3. i want a guy to see me how God sees me. God sees me for who i am on the inside. cliche but true. i believe God finds me beautiful...even in my dorky penguin PJs. id like to believe that i can find a guy who would find me adorable even if im 50 kg heavier and a thousand wrinkles wrinklier.

4. i have God. i don't need guys to whistle at me to feel noticed, adored or loved cuz i get that from God. and its so much purer, more powerful and perfect in every way.

i was shopping with ness on sunday afternoon. we were walking along and this large white figure came our way. what was it? an angel? pop 'n fresh? a chick wearing a white top? yeah. it was the last one. and oooooooh my gosh. did she get attention or what. she was wearing a white top thinner than tissue paper - tight enough to give the support of a bra. i guess that's why she didn't wear one. and for an asian... u just know those things aren't real.

now don't get me wrong. she could have been a really nice girl. but at first site... that's not the kinda message i wanna send about myself. it wasn't appealing. and if its appealing to most guys... then i guess i wouldn't date most guys.

but my point is, i wanna be respected as a girl with integrity. someone who values who she is and doesn't give a care if ppl think she's too 'christian'. it is possible for a girl to have God and have style.