Telemarketers

I had three telemarketers call me within 30 minutes. I don't wanna be rude and just hang up so I just kinda stand there and pretend to listen for a minute or two before saying, “I'm not Mrs Dong.” and Ellen shares this frustration. So together we made a list of what to say the next time we get the much anticipated call.

1.My English is not sufficient for this conversation. I do apoligise.

2.I'm sorry, I have selective hearing. Could you please repeat each word five times?

3.My mummy and daddy aren't home. I like peanuts.

4.JESUS LOVES YOU!!! *arms flailing madly*

5.*leave the phone on the table and let the darlings talk their arses off*

6.Umm... I don't know what that word means... could you please spell that? D.E. SLOWER DARN IT!!! D.E.A.L... ok now let me go get the dictionary *hang up*

7.'How are you today, Mrs Dong?' 'oh well now that you've asked... I have these horrible pimples coming up in places you don't wanna know about. Oh but what the hell... I'll tell you.

8.Yes yes that's all good and interesting. But what I wanna know is... did the chicken come before the egg? Yeah betchu don't have that answer on ur script hey!

9.So, what are you wearing?

10.'You should hear about our special offers!' 'Oh I really wish I could but the problem is: I don't want to.'